It's been so much fun having Heather here! So sad you had to go home!
Two weeks ago, we all went to Brigham City and stayed overnight just for fun. It was a blast! I loved it. Poor Heather had a crying baby all night, but it was fun to let the kids swim together and just sit and talk that night and the next morning. I love getting out of town, even if it's only a little ways away. I'd love to be able to do that once a month... just take a little road trip somewhere and then stay overnight.
Courtney has my pics of Brigham City and still hasn't uploaded them, and I'm waiting for Heather and/or Wendy to put up pics on their blogs that I can steal. I am terrible about taking pictures.
It's been two years since my dad's death. It still doesn't seem real sometimes. I still think of things that I need to call and tell him or ask him about, and that realization when I remember is yuck. Sean's starting to work on the boat and we're starting to think about getting out on the lake, and I'm so glad that I have those memories and the physical reminder of the boat. It makes me feel close to him.
I was listening to Kenny Chesney's "I Go Back" the other day, and the line "Living life with no sense of time" struck me. I was thinking about being a kid, back when summers felt so long. The month of December stretched an eternity, waiting for Christmas to finally come. The years lasted so long in between birthdays, and you couldn't wait to get older. And then I was thinking that, really, I feel like I've lived my life with no sense of time until just last summer. Last summer I had a whole disturbing shift in perspective, and I haven't quite been able to recover. To set things back to how they used to be. I used to really just enjoy every stage of my kids' lives. I loved having little babies, and then I loved seeing them learn to walk, and then to talk, and then it was fun to see them learn to play and use their imaginations, and then to go off to kindergarten and ride a bike and play soccer, and then to play an instrument or learn karate or start junior high or run track or... I loved each new thing and didn't mourn the phases that had passed. But then last summer, the train went off the tracks. I was totally derailed by the thought of Courntey graduating high school and Josh starting kindergarten. And now... It's like, I can't see things through my old perspective. I can't find the joy. It's been replaced by a constant low-grade fear that underlies everything. It's not that I'm totally unhappy... just scared for what's to come. What if my kids grow up and leave me and life is no fun anymore. That fear paralyzes me for some reason now. I'm hoping that once Courtney graduates and the world doesn't end, I'll be OK. Also, I feel like I'm setting myself up in my head that this summer has to be epic, and if it's not I'm going to be so upset, because there's so little time and you have to pack it all in and have The Most Fun Ever. I've got to get my mind straight and just come what may.
I love my job. I do. Kids are so freaking funny. I got to go up to Weber State for English Quest again this year. I'm always so impressed by what kids are capable of. This is an optional activity, not an assignment, so it's double cool to see them write poetry and create videos and perform Shakespeare scenes and compete in spelling bees just for the fun of it. I was gone a day for that, and then took the next 2 days off because Lexi was sick, and when I came back my kids were like, "Where were you?? Don't leave us again!!" Which is so funny, because when I'm there they are wishing I'd leave. :) One of my boys said, "You can't be gone anymore. I had a hard time without you." And another told me he wrote a poem in his English journal about me being gone. So goofy! These are teenage boys. They are not serious. But it's nice to hear anyway, especially since they are always complaining about everything I make them do when I am there.
I love being on a college campus. It makes me want to be a student all over again. How fun. Maybe in about 5 years I'll be ready...
One more day, and then the weekend! Life is good.