Driving home today, we suddenly went through a little downpour of hail. Lexi said, "What is that noise?" and I said that it was just the hail. She said, "What? The hail?" Ha sounded funny.
I'm on the food committee for the senior all-night party at Courtney's school, and the chair called a meeting for tonight. I could hardly tell her, "Well, that's Survivor time right there, so count me out." Darned responsibilities. Always getting in the way of my laying on the couch time. So now Sean has to consult NASA guide books and get an electrical engineering degree from Harvard so he can figure out how to program the VCR to go through the converter box to record Survivor for me. But bless his little heart, he's working on it for me because that's how much he loves me and how much I love Survivor. Mark Burnett owns me.
So, goals:
I made pretty good progress, I think. On the Diet Pepsi, I did about 75%. On the treats, about 90%. Family council, 75%. Doing more things for myself, 100%.
March goals:
Limit Diet Pepsi to 2 cans/day.
No treats until dessert.
Family council twice a month.
Do something for someone outside my family once a week.
Talk to someone every day that I don't normally talk to. I've gotten into a really bad habit of just putting my head down and living in my own little world because it's easier and less complicated, so I wanted to be a little more social.
I considered a goal to eat the same diet that Josh eats for a month, but I don't have nearly enough will power. It would be a good exercise, though, and I could probably lose 15 lbs in a month.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
February Latest, Goal Progress, & Things That Must Go
February has been a great month, all things considered. I think this is the most depressing time of the year, but it hasn't been too bad. A few highlights:
Mindi, Steve, the kiddos, Marilyn, Dennis, and Curtis (Courtney's boyfriend) came over and watched the Super Bowl with us. Our team lost and we didn't win any money, but the company was excellent.
One of my February goals was to do a few things for myself that I like to do, and I've done that. Yay! I suck at New Year's Resolutions and goals in general, but these small little monthly goals are proving much more manageable for me. I went to a meet-and-greet for SLC Mayor Peter Corroon, who is running for governor this year. I like the guy. He's not in-line with all of my issues, but he's much better than Gov. Herbert imo. The meeting was interesting because it was attended by the movers in the party and not so many of the average peons like me, it seemed like. Very intimidating and uncomfortable, but that's a goal for another month. I just would really like to be more comfortable in my own skin.
Next thing I did was go to a rally at the state Capitol for public employees. The speeches were very good, and it motivated me to want to be more involved. I liked being a party delegate and attending the county and state conventions, and I want to do that again. Mostly all I do now is get all worked up about stuff and write imaginary letters to the editor in my head but never do anything else.
Last thing I (we) did was go to the Queensryche concert in Wendover, which was a blast. Marilyn watched our kids, so we stayed overnight this time, which was holy cow so nice. The great thing about Wendover is that it's close to home, but it feels like a getaway. So the concert was fun; they played my 4 favorite songs that they sing. Next up, Vince Neil in April. Can't wait. Motley Crue sings my all-time favorite rock ballad (Home Sweet Home), so I'm hoping he'll do that one. Hopefully he has rights to all the Crue music, because I don't know any of his solo stuff.
This season of Survivor has started out so much better than any in recent memory. Last season in particular sucked rocks. The challenges were stupid, the people were stupid, Probst's heart was not in it. This season could shape up to be a really good one with lots of strategy. I hope Russell gets voted out next, followed by Parvati. So much Boston Rob love. They could just give it to him now. He is really in his element in Survivor. He's competent, social, reads people well, and can perform at both physical and mental challenges.
Yesterday was Courtney's region Sterling Scholar interview. She's glad to have it all over with. Region debate tournament is in a week and a half. One of her favorite residents at work passed away unexpectedly last weekend. She was moving, so Courtney had said goodbye to her the night before, so she did have some closure, but I think that was hard.
Brittney's first trial for mock trial is coming up on Monday at the Ogden court house. She's a witness. I hope she has fun with it.
Josh was so excited today when I went to pick him up at lunch to take him to kindergarten. He told me that he and his friend Taya exchanged phone numbers, and asked if he could call her, and told me all about how she would call him. When we got home he informed everyone to make sure if the phone was for him that we let him have it. He and Taya have known each other since they were both about 9 months old. He thinks it's so funny when I tell him how they used to sit side by side in the high chairs or how they played together as babies. I wish they went to school together. She is a cute little friend to him.
We did Things That Must Go in class today. Here is my list this time around:
1. spitting in public
2. nose picking
3. people who don't wash their hands before they leave the bathroom
4. facebook updates about farmville or mafia wars or people's horoscope or suggestions
5. status updates that are annoying and lovey-dovey statuses (ahem: Courtney and Curtis... looking at you two)
6. axed (as in: I axed my mom if I could go)
7. being called Sharon or Shanna or Shauna
8. partisan politics
9. blaming Obama for all the things that were already wrong when he took office
10. jewelry store commercials (they're the WORST!)
11. people who sit at concerts and don't dance or cheer or show any signs of life. When you scream and dance and do "rock on", you worry that you might be disturbing their nap time or meditation or prayers or something.
12. people who make a driving error and then act like you're the idiot
Happy weekend. Over and out.
Mindi, Steve, the kiddos, Marilyn, Dennis, and Curtis (Courtney's boyfriend) came over and watched the Super Bowl with us. Our team lost and we didn't win any money, but the company was excellent.
One of my February goals was to do a few things for myself that I like to do, and I've done that. Yay! I suck at New Year's Resolutions and goals in general, but these small little monthly goals are proving much more manageable for me. I went to a meet-and-greet for SLC Mayor Peter Corroon, who is running for governor this year. I like the guy. He's not in-line with all of my issues, but he's much better than Gov. Herbert imo. The meeting was interesting because it was attended by the movers in the party and not so many of the average peons like me, it seemed like. Very intimidating and uncomfortable, but that's a goal for another month. I just would really like to be more comfortable in my own skin.
Next thing I did was go to a rally at the state Capitol for public employees. The speeches were very good, and it motivated me to want to be more involved. I liked being a party delegate and attending the county and state conventions, and I want to do that again. Mostly all I do now is get all worked up about stuff and write imaginary letters to the editor in my head but never do anything else.
Last thing I (we) did was go to the Queensryche concert in Wendover, which was a blast. Marilyn watched our kids, so we stayed overnight this time, which was holy cow so nice. The great thing about Wendover is that it's close to home, but it feels like a getaway. So the concert was fun; they played my 4 favorite songs that they sing. Next up, Vince Neil in April. Can't wait. Motley Crue sings my all-time favorite rock ballad (Home Sweet Home), so I'm hoping he'll do that one. Hopefully he has rights to all the Crue music, because I don't know any of his solo stuff.
This season of Survivor has started out so much better than any in recent memory. Last season in particular sucked rocks. The challenges were stupid, the people were stupid, Probst's heart was not in it. This season could shape up to be a really good one with lots of strategy. I hope Russell gets voted out next, followed by Parvati. So much Boston Rob love. They could just give it to him now. He is really in his element in Survivor. He's competent, social, reads people well, and can perform at both physical and mental challenges.
Yesterday was Courtney's region Sterling Scholar interview. She's glad to have it all over with. Region debate tournament is in a week and a half. One of her favorite residents at work passed away unexpectedly last weekend. She was moving, so Courtney had said goodbye to her the night before, so she did have some closure, but I think that was hard.
Brittney's first trial for mock trial is coming up on Monday at the Ogden court house. She's a witness. I hope she has fun with it.
Josh was so excited today when I went to pick him up at lunch to take him to kindergarten. He told me that he and his friend Taya exchanged phone numbers, and asked if he could call her, and told me all about how she would call him. When we got home he informed everyone to make sure if the phone was for him that we let him have it. He and Taya have known each other since they were both about 9 months old. He thinks it's so funny when I tell him how they used to sit side by side in the high chairs or how they played together as babies. I wish they went to school together. She is a cute little friend to him.
We did Things That Must Go in class today. Here is my list this time around:
1. spitting in public
2. nose picking
3. people who don't wash their hands before they leave the bathroom
4. facebook updates about farmville or mafia wars or people's horoscope or suggestions
5. status updates that are annoying and lovey-dovey statuses (ahem: Courtney and Curtis... looking at you two)
6. axed (as in: I axed my mom if I could go)
7. being called Sharon or Shanna or Shauna
8. partisan politics
9. blaming Obama for all the things that were already wrong when he took office
10. jewelry store commercials (they're the WORST!)
11. people who sit at concerts and don't dance or cheer or show any signs of life. When you scream and dance and do "rock on", you worry that you might be disturbing their nap time or meditation or prayers or something.
12. people who make a driving error and then act like you're the idiot
Happy weekend. Over and out.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Love
I've been thinking about my statement the other day that I'm a "love conquers all" sort of person, and I wanted to clarify something for my own self. I was serious when I said that it's somewhat unrealistic. I do realize that love cannot conquer all, and that just because it has in the past doesn't mean it always will. I felt like what I had written came off sounding smug and that was not my intention. Anyway... Speaking of love:
Ummm.... what??
We were having a discussion on civil disobedience in class, and one of my students said, "Who was that lady that refused to sit at the back of the bus? Aretha Franklin?" Ummmm... not quite. Try again sweetie.
Lexi has this Barney DVD that she loves (grrr...) and I was doing stuff today, not really paying attention to the Barney background noise underneath my thoughts. Then this song came on singing about balls, and it's fun to play with balls, big ones, small ones, and I had to stop and go... wait... what?? I fully admit that I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, but really. Somebody really could have come up with some better lyrics to that song.
Lexi has this Barney DVD that she loves (grrr...) and I was doing stuff today, not really paying attention to the Barney background noise underneath my thoughts. Then this song came on singing about balls, and it's fun to play with balls, big ones, small ones, and I had to stop and go... wait... what?? I fully admit that I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, but really. Somebody really could have come up with some better lyrics to that song.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Shopping
I LOVE clothes. I hate shopping. I never feel like I have the time or money to spend on it. I don't like the way anything looks on me. Therefore, I put it off until it's really, really overwhelming. So this weekend, that was the one task I had to complete... go shopping and get myself some things to wear before someone mistakes me for a hobo. No offense to the hobos, becuase I'm looking pretty bad lately. Walking through Kohl's today, I had this feeling like... this is what it must feel like to be on crack. To be ADHD and on crack. It's like ohmygoshthosearenicetowelsandlookatthe
shoesandI'moutofbrasandIneednewshirtsandtherearesomepantsahhhhhhhhhhh..... I don't know where to start. So I just want to go home and put my jammies back on. Luckily I did OK today, got some stuff, but shoes have been my nemesis lately. I've shopped everywhere for a pair of good shoes that I can wear with my skirts, with slacks, with jeans... I love heels, and I kept wistfully checking them out, but I just can't do heels. I have terrible feet and they always hurt, so I need good shoes. I tried on all the Naturalizer and comfy shoes, and they all just looked so clunky and gross on me. I tried on a pair of super cute white Pumas. I looked like grandma going to Bingo in her new white Keds. Finally I had one of those moments in Famous Footwear where you are so tired of shopping endlessly for shoes (seriously, I started this quest for comfy shoes like last school year) and just madly grabbed 3 pairs and bought them. Oh well. It is done. On my way to check out at both Target and Kohl's, though, I saw the swimsuits... a whole 'nother challenge. Not even going to think about that one today.
shoesandI'moutofbrasandIneednewshirtsandtherearesomepantsahhhhhhhhhhh..... I don't know where to start. So I just want to go home and put my jammies back on. Luckily I did OK today, got some stuff, but shoes have been my nemesis lately. I've shopped everywhere for a pair of good shoes that I can wear with my skirts, with slacks, with jeans... I love heels, and I kept wistfully checking them out, but I just can't do heels. I have terrible feet and they always hurt, so I need good shoes. I tried on all the Naturalizer and comfy shoes, and they all just looked so clunky and gross on me. I tried on a pair of super cute white Pumas. I looked like grandma going to Bingo in her new white Keds. Finally I had one of those moments in Famous Footwear where you are so tired of shopping endlessly for shoes (seriously, I started this quest for comfy shoes like last school year) and just madly grabbed 3 pairs and bought them. Oh well. It is done. On my way to check out at both Target and Kohl's, though, I saw the swimsuits... a whole 'nother challenge. Not even going to think about that one today.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Furthermore...
I've been thinking about the stuff I wrote about religion the other day and wanted to elaborate (ramble on some more) further...
I can understand that an individual person would choose to remain single rather than marry someone outside their faith. It's not what I would choose because I come from a different place, but I can see how someone else could feel that way. What was surprising to me, I guess, was that in this particular discussion (I think it was on the Time and Seasons blog) was that there were people who vehemently asserted that no faithful LDS person should ever marry outside the temple. Who are they to say what everyone should do? To judge the righteous desires of another's heart? And further, these were married people saying that other people should have to remain single if they don't find an LDS marriage partner. Easy to say when you've already found someone, yk? I find that annoying. (Big surprise... me? annoyed by something? LOL) I'm just not really big on sweeping generalizations about how other people should live, I guess. And I'm a "love will conquer all" sort of a person, which is lame and idealistic and not realistic, but there ya go. Love has conquered a hell of a lot of hardship over the years at my house, so it works for me. :)
Also, thinking a lot over the last day or so about my own religious/spritual path and what the term agnostic means as I apply it to myself. Agnostic is a pretty broad term that can encompass a variety of beliefs, but the commonality is the whole "unknowable" thing. That's why I consider myself agnostic, although non-denominational Christian may also be accurate. Non-denominational Christian agnostic? I just don't know any of the answers to the questions that religion purports to answer, and I don't believe I ever will. Even when I was fully active in the LDS church, I never believed in all of the teachings. The LDS religion is not something I dismissed in adulthood. I didn't "lose my testimony", "go apostate", I didn't get "offended" and leave, I'm not anti-Mormon, I'm not just too lazy to live the teachings, or any of those things that people often assume about people like me. I just never fully believed in it. I can remember as a teenager knowing that I wouldn't marry in the temple. I didn't want to, even when I was a faithful YW/seminary attendee. I couldn't articulate exactly why, but I can clearly remember being 17 years old and telling my friend that I would get married in a civil ceremony and then go to the temple later on if I wanted to. I took the temple prep classes in my early 20's and still had no desire to attend the temple. I tried for years to reconcile my beliefs with church teachings so that I could attend and not be frustrated. It didn't work. That's when I kindof decided I was LDS agnostic... meaning, I identified as LDS because that was the religion of my family and my upbringing, and I believed in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Parents, but that I didn't believe all of the rest was really knowable. And then I just couldn't attend anymore, and now I don't really identify as LDS anymore. I'm "Christian", "unaffiliated", or "agnostic", depending on who is asking. I would actually love to start attending the LDS Church again and have a community to worship with, and to worship with my family, but it's just so hard to figure out how to make it all work and not be a hair-pulling-out experience. Still working that out in my head... Stay tuned. :) This is a weird subject for me to write about. I very rarely talk about it anymore, and usually regret it when I do... so I'm sure I'll regret writing this post. Private thoughts and all that. Oh well. That's my story if you ever wondered. :)
I can understand that an individual person would choose to remain single rather than marry someone outside their faith. It's not what I would choose because I come from a different place, but I can see how someone else could feel that way. What was surprising to me, I guess, was that in this particular discussion (I think it was on the Time and Seasons blog) was that there were people who vehemently asserted that no faithful LDS person should ever marry outside the temple. Who are they to say what everyone should do? To judge the righteous desires of another's heart? And further, these were married people saying that other people should have to remain single if they don't find an LDS marriage partner. Easy to say when you've already found someone, yk? I find that annoying. (Big surprise... me? annoyed by something? LOL) I'm just not really big on sweeping generalizations about how other people should live, I guess. And I'm a "love will conquer all" sort of a person, which is lame and idealistic and not realistic, but there ya go. Love has conquered a hell of a lot of hardship over the years at my house, so it works for me. :)
Also, thinking a lot over the last day or so about my own religious/spritual path and what the term agnostic means as I apply it to myself. Agnostic is a pretty broad term that can encompass a variety of beliefs, but the commonality is the whole "unknowable" thing. That's why I consider myself agnostic, although non-denominational Christian may also be accurate. Non-denominational Christian agnostic? I just don't know any of the answers to the questions that religion purports to answer, and I don't believe I ever will. Even when I was fully active in the LDS church, I never believed in all of the teachings. The LDS religion is not something I dismissed in adulthood. I didn't "lose my testimony", "go apostate", I didn't get "offended" and leave, I'm not anti-Mormon, I'm not just too lazy to live the teachings, or any of those things that people often assume about people like me. I just never fully believed in it. I can remember as a teenager knowing that I wouldn't marry in the temple. I didn't want to, even when I was a faithful YW/seminary attendee. I couldn't articulate exactly why, but I can clearly remember being 17 years old and telling my friend that I would get married in a civil ceremony and then go to the temple later on if I wanted to. I took the temple prep classes in my early 20's and still had no desire to attend the temple. I tried for years to reconcile my beliefs with church teachings so that I could attend and not be frustrated. It didn't work. That's when I kindof decided I was LDS agnostic... meaning, I identified as LDS because that was the religion of my family and my upbringing, and I believed in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Parents, but that I didn't believe all of the rest was really knowable. And then I just couldn't attend anymore, and now I don't really identify as LDS anymore. I'm "Christian", "unaffiliated", or "agnostic", depending on who is asking. I would actually love to start attending the LDS Church again and have a community to worship with, and to worship with my family, but it's just so hard to figure out how to make it all work and not be a hair-pulling-out experience. Still working that out in my head... Stay tuned. :) This is a weird subject for me to write about. I very rarely talk about it anymore, and usually regret it when I do... so I'm sure I'll regret writing this post. Private thoughts and all that. Oh well. That's my story if you ever wondered. :)
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Latest
Our 18th anniversary came and went a few weeks ago. Hard to believe that it's been that long. And that Sean still likes me. He's a pretty amazing guy to be able to put up with my crap and still love me anyway. We had a pretty low-key celebration. We took a nice drive up to Coalville and had lunch at the Spring Chicken Inn. It was quiet and relaxing. Perfect. Next month we are going to Wendover for dinner and a concert over Valentine's weekend, so I'm counting that as our anniversary as well. We are going to see Queensryche, which is the first band we ever saw in concert together. That was nineteen years ago. Wow.
Josh started back to school last week, which was good because I was getting ready to have him go back. I was starting to get annoyed having him hang out with me every day, even though it was only for a few hours, because he sits on top of me and asks me questions and makes messes when I'm trying to get work done, but I tried hard to just relax and enjoy having him there. I really missed him on his first day back. Some of his little art projects were strewn around my desk and his monster truck drawing was still on the white board, and it made me want to give him a big hug. Sometimes it's nice when people aren't around so that you have a chance to miss them. :)
Courtney has been busy working and having way too much fun. She's got a few debate tournaments coming up and been busy working on scholarship stuff. Crazy. I'm going to cry like a baby at her graduation. I just got roped into doing the all-night senior party. That should be interesting.
Lexi is potty trained. Yay! That poor girl looks so raggedy all the time. She pulls the barrettes and ponytails out of her hair. And then when she gets older she's going to look at pics of herself and go, "Gah! Mu-therrrrr, why did you let me look so terrible??"
I'm hoping that Brittney might actually like this semester of school. Her awesome counselor got her into a class she wanted and she seems pretty happy overall with everything. Hates P.E., but duh. Unavoidable. She just joined the mock trial team and is taking pictures this week for yearbook. Hopefully she'll have a fun semester. If I could just figure out how to help her reduce the number of migraines she's been having. She claims it's P.E. and thinks I should try to get her out of it. Hmmmm.....
I was reading an interesting article and then a blog discussion on an LDS blog today. The discussion was about whether people who couldn't find a temple marriage partner are better off not to get married at all than to marry a good person in a civil ceremony. There were people who argued both sides, and frankly, I was surprised. There were people who vehemently believed that there are two choices: a) single and celibate forever or b) temple marriage. I don't know why that surprises me so much, but it does. As someone who isn't temple endowed/sealed and never will be and (obviously) won't encourage my kids down that road, it's such a foreign way of thinking to me. I understand that temple marriage is the ideal for LDS, but I was just surprised that some people think that being alone is better than being married to a person with good values who isn't a church member. The other thing that was funny, while at the same time disturbing, was that one poster made a list of undesirable people to be married to (drunks, child abusers, puppy-kickers, anti-Mormons) and lumped agnostics in there. I used to consider myself LDS agnostic if there can be such a thing, but now I think of myself as just a sort of general Christian agnostic, but I guess I didn't realize I keep such unsavory company? Seriously, you would never want to marry a dope smoker, a porn director, or one of those agnostics. LOL
Rather than New Year's Resolutions, I decided this year to try to make monthly goals. So here are my February goals:
*Family council twice a month
*No treats until dessert (I will snack on a cookie here and 2 cookies there until I've eaten 7 cookies in the course of an afternoon/evening)
*Limit 2 cans of Diet Pepsi a day
*Lower the noise level at our house-- we are LOUD people
*Be less boring. I've really been wrapped up in my kids more than I feel is healthy and I've lost more of my own identity than I feel good about. Do at least 2 fun things that I want to do.
That should do it for now. I think those are pretty achievable to start.
Josh started back to school last week, which was good because I was getting ready to have him go back. I was starting to get annoyed having him hang out with me every day, even though it was only for a few hours, because he sits on top of me and asks me questions and makes messes when I'm trying to get work done, but I tried hard to just relax and enjoy having him there. I really missed him on his first day back. Some of his little art projects were strewn around my desk and his monster truck drawing was still on the white board, and it made me want to give him a big hug. Sometimes it's nice when people aren't around so that you have a chance to miss them. :)
Courtney has been busy working and having way too much fun. She's got a few debate tournaments coming up and been busy working on scholarship stuff. Crazy. I'm going to cry like a baby at her graduation. I just got roped into doing the all-night senior party. That should be interesting.
Lexi is potty trained. Yay! That poor girl looks so raggedy all the time. She pulls the barrettes and ponytails out of her hair. And then when she gets older she's going to look at pics of herself and go, "Gah! Mu-therrrrr, why did you let me look so terrible??"
I'm hoping that Brittney might actually like this semester of school. Her awesome counselor got her into a class she wanted and she seems pretty happy overall with everything. Hates P.E., but duh. Unavoidable. She just joined the mock trial team and is taking pictures this week for yearbook. Hopefully she'll have a fun semester. If I could just figure out how to help her reduce the number of migraines she's been having. She claims it's P.E. and thinks I should try to get her out of it. Hmmmm.....
I was reading an interesting article and then a blog discussion on an LDS blog today. The discussion was about whether people who couldn't find a temple marriage partner are better off not to get married at all than to marry a good person in a civil ceremony. There were people who argued both sides, and frankly, I was surprised. There were people who vehemently believed that there are two choices: a) single and celibate forever or b) temple marriage. I don't know why that surprises me so much, but it does. As someone who isn't temple endowed/sealed and never will be and (obviously) won't encourage my kids down that road, it's such a foreign way of thinking to me. I understand that temple marriage is the ideal for LDS, but I was just surprised that some people think that being alone is better than being married to a person with good values who isn't a church member. The other thing that was funny, while at the same time disturbing, was that one poster made a list of undesirable people to be married to (drunks, child abusers, puppy-kickers, anti-Mormons) and lumped agnostics in there. I used to consider myself LDS agnostic if there can be such a thing, but now I think of myself as just a sort of general Christian agnostic, but I guess I didn't realize I keep such unsavory company? Seriously, you would never want to marry a dope smoker, a porn director, or one of those agnostics. LOL
Rather than New Year's Resolutions, I decided this year to try to make monthly goals. So here are my February goals:
*Family council twice a month
*No treats until dessert (I will snack on a cookie here and 2 cookies there until I've eaten 7 cookies in the course of an afternoon/evening)
*Limit 2 cans of Diet Pepsi a day
*Lower the noise level at our house-- we are LOUD people
*Be less boring. I've really been wrapped up in my kids more than I feel is healthy and I've lost more of my own identity than I feel good about. Do at least 2 fun things that I want to do.
That should do it for now. I think those are pretty achievable to start.
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