A Story About My Eyeball

Why does my body hate me so much?  I woke up Saturday morning with a stabbing pain in my eyeball, which isn't unusual for me, but this one was worse and didn't go away.  I was debating whether I needed to find someone to look at it on a Saturday, and then I was curled up in a ball crying because it hurt so bad, and I decided that yes, yes I did need to get it looked at.  So I woke up poor Courtney, who had only been asleep for a few hours, to run me to the ER, where they told me I had an acute abrasion on the cornea.  I did that to myself while sleeping. That takes some serious talent.  So basically I had a nice big cut on my eyeball and I couldn't see, so I spent the whole weekend laying on the couch, downing percocet and sleeping and not being able to use my eye.  So today I went in for a follow-up, and he said it looks like it's healing up pretty well, and then he's showing me how I have this little cyst in my eye, too, but it's normal and should break off on it's own and go away, and he's all... and see here is your eye jelly right here... and I'm all, dude, do you really want to talk to me about eye jelly and cysts and crud like that?  Look, I am a Rasmussen sister, man.  We will pass out or puke in an eye doctor's office with no provocation whatsoever, so you really ought to keep your eye jelly talk to yourself.  And Courtney was just making fun of me the whole time.  Nice. 

Ok, so I read this YA novel to see if I wanted to maybe use it in class, and I really enjoyed it, so I read the whole trilogy.  The third book is over 800 freaking pages.  So I've invested probably a good 1500 pages in these characters all told, I stayed up until midnight on a school night to finish the last one, and the author turns the only truly likeable character in the book INTO A TREE.  Seriously?  What is your problem, author lady?  Gah.  I hate her.  I picked up some books at a yard sale.  One of them is a romance novel.  I knew it would probably be sort of terrible, but I got it anyway, probably for free even, and oh my goodness it is surely the most terribly written book I've ever read.  Just cheesy.  It's like if the Church tried to write a romance novel.  Like the most cheesiest stories ever included in RS or YW or FHE manual.  That's what it's like.  I'm only on the first chapter and I don't know if I can make it any farther.  But at least this author won't be turning anyone into a tree.