Debbie Downer

Josh does not like school.  Except for recess maybe.  But he never has liked it, and it doesn't come easy for him.  Which is usually why kids don't like it.  Anyway, I was quizzing him on his multiplication tables, and here are some of the answers I got to "what's 4x6" and "what's 7x3", etc:

• Why?
• Oh, you want to know that?
• Are we still doing that?
• Fart noise

It's so hard struggling through homework with him and watching him get so frustrated.  It takes him longer to memorize things than the typical kid.  I've noticed this ever since preschool and kindergarten.  He has a hard time concentrating, too.  

I've never much cared for the Boy Scouts program.  I guess it wasn't so much the program itself that I disliked, but more the discrepancy between the Scouting budget for the boys and the YW's budget for the girls, and the fact that the boys got to do really cool stuff and call it "Scout Camp" and "High Adventure" while we learned to cook and had modest fashion shows. (Gag.)  Then there's the fact that it seems Boy Scouts around here are constantly getting lost in the wilderness or starting the forest on fire, so it always scared me to have Josh join.  But Josh really needs to make some new friends in the neighborhood, so I have found myself in the strange position of trying to talk him into going, and he has finally consented to give it a try.  It helps immensely that it's Pinewood Derby time.  In light of all the recent discussion about the Boy Scouts allowing gay people into their ranks, here is what I don't understand.  What have the wards been doing all this time with gay young men if they aren't allowed to join Scouts?  Do the gay guys all go inactive?  Are they just not "out" at church?  If a gay guy shows up to YM activity night and they're working on merit badges or whatever, do they just turn him away?  Say, "You can stay and hang out with us but you can't participate"?  Say, "You can participate, but sorry, you don't get the badge"?   How depressing.  I mean, from what I understand a gay young man can be a member of the LDS Church in good standing, can hold callings within his quorum, can attend church activities... except for Scouts?  How does that work?   Especially when the YM program revolves so heavily around Scouts.  Don't we want to teach our children to be inclusive and to be, you know, Christ-like?  To include everyone?  Isn't this the goal?   I cannot even fathom what it would be like to be a gay teen and be taught that you have to be celibate for the rest of your life.... that you cannot have a family, a spouse, a significant other, no one to hug or kiss... how could you imagine a future for yourself like that as a young teenager?

I started working on our taxes last night.  I got Brittney's done because hers are easy, but I didn't get very far with ours.  That's a job I'm always happy to have done.

I've been feeling down lately (for the last 21 years?) because I just can't ever seem to get it together.  It all boils down to not enough energy, that's the big one, and then lack of money, and finally lack of time.  If I had the energy, I could make time for most of what I'd like to accomplish.  And if I had money I wouldn't have to put as much energy into certain things, because money makes many jobs easier.  There's time in the day to get more done, I think.  There's just not energy.

So then, considering all of that, what did I do?  I volunteered to take on a big job at school that takes a ton of time.  Smart, Shannon!

I've started compiling my students' Six Word Memoirs into our book.  I'm so excited.  I hope it turns out the way I want it to.  Again, it's taking up a ton of time (and energy).  But I hope they like seeing the end result.  I really struggled with whether I should make them take ownership of this project and do it themselves, and I probably should, but I'm pretty much glad I didn't.  It would be a good experience for them, but even more work for me.  It's easier just to do it myself.

I want to go somewhere overnight President's Day weekend.  Preferably somewhere warm, but anywhere with air that isn't the equivalent of smoking two packs a day would be OK with me.  I wish it were warm enough to go camping.  Soon, though.