Thoughts on life

Today was my last day of school. I have graduation tomorrow, but I'm all done in the classroom. It's such a strange thing.... I really look forward to summer break, but there is this melancholy feeling on the last day of school. These kids get to be such a huge part of my life for almost a year, and then one day, all of a sudden, we're done and they have to move on. I get really stressed out during the school year trying to juggle my family life with my work life, but I really do love my job. I can't imagine not doing it. So on the last day of school I get a little freaked out at the thought of not having my schedule and my routine and not doing all the little things I'm used to doing every day. But by Monday? Pffffttt.... I'll be like... school? Don't talk to me about school for another 10 weeks. I think one thing that makes the end of the school year more melancholy for me is having kids in the daycare. The high school students and teachers get so attached to the kids, and it's really hard to say good-bye. All these kids that Josh has been in the daycare with for 4 years, including his best friend, are moving on to elementary school, so that's hard for me too. I really didn't want this year to go by very fast, because I knew that Lexi would be a year old when it was over, and here we are. :( It makes me so sad. I look at the pictures that the daycare puts together for us and it just makes me tear up to look at the sweet little baby she was at the beginning of the year and how big she is now. It goes so fast. Her daycare teacher was trying not to cry thinking about how much she's going to grow up this summer, and so was I. It's just crazy to look back at the pictures of them trick-or-treating around the school and playing in the snow, and how far away summer seemed then.

We had the end-of-year assembly and yearbook signing today. Watching the assembly, and watching the kids, I thought about how important and yet unimportant high school is at the same time. I hope the kids have a great time and build great memories and use the time to do great things... and yet know that their whole lives are ahead of them and it only gets better. Anyway....

We went up to the cabin the other night to check things out because we were bored. It was too dark to see most of the pics I took, so I'll have to get some this weekend. The weeds are crazy high. We're going to kill all the dandelions, but I'm pretty sure there will be nothing left once we do. They've taken over.

As you can see, the weeds are as tall as Josh in some spots.



Sean painted Lexi's room last weekend, and I like how it turned out.


Well, this weekend we have lots of yard work to do. We're having Lexi's birthday this weekend too. Should be fun.

Memorial Day

Thank goodness for the weekend. Let's see if I can think of what's happened the last week or so.

We've been busy. Yup, that about sums it up.

So Sean painted Lexi's room this weekend. It's a light green, and I like it. I would post a picture, but my camara has no batteries. Gotta buy some. Then I'll put up some pics.

We went out to Bountiful today and put flowers on dad's grave. It was nice to go out and see mom and Katie.

We took the kids to dinner and it was like $60 and you know how it's not all that enjoyable juggling the 2 little folks and the place we went was like 90 decibals of clattering plates and loud children... I was like... seriously... for $60 we could have gone to Wendover and got a room *and dinner. And if I played my cards right (ha ha I'm so funny!) I could have probably got breakfast comp'd. Just think... right now I could be sitting in the casino lounge with a giant margarita listening to whatever mediocre lounge band is singing and watching drunk people dance. Hmph.

So update on the eye... It went totally scary colors. And people kept saying, "Oh, wait, is something wrong with your eye? I thought it was just your makeup at first." OK, I totally want to know on what planet I wear plum, rust, and lime green makeup? At the same time? I hardly wear makeup at all, let alone those colors all together. So people probably went around thinking I was some sort of fashion tragedy all week. Which, I sort of am, so whatever.

So here's a sad story for you. One of my students from last year asked me if I'm pregnant again. Yep. I was waiting for that. I think it was partly to do with I was carrying this big load of binders and trying to balance them, so I was standing kinda funny, and what I was wearing, and then the fact that I still have 5 baby pounds to lose, all in my stomach, and then I have about an additional 10 on top of that to lose. Blarg. I did the elliptical 3 times this week, but some days I'm just too busy. I have this way cool friend who is totally in shape, with really great muscles, and she loves to run and swim and bike and hike. She isn't married and has no kids. So we'll have these conversations where I'm all... I really need to exercise, and she says... just do it after school. Or before school. You just need to decide you're going to do it. Yes... but... no. Some days it really is impossible to fit in, and it's not an excuse. I feel better and eat better when I've exercised, especially when I do it right after work. I get this burst of energy and it keeps me from eating a ton of junk in the afternoon/evening.

Well, that's it for now. I'll be back with a few pics and whatnot before too long.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was really nice this year. I'm not going to lie... it's not my favorite holiday. It ranks pretty far down on my list, actually. It just makes me feel guilty for every shortcoming I have as a mom. You get hit from all directions with these images and ideas of how mom is so perfect, and I'm not, so then I just feel bad for not living up to the ideal that people are putting out there. Anyway... Mom and Katie came over for dinner, and brought red potatoes and Katie's homemade rolls. Sean made chicken cordon bleu and shrimp cocktail and picked up a chocolate cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory. So the food was fabulous. I got some homemade gifts and cards from the kids and flowers for the yard from Sean, and my mom and Katie brought me some gifts as well. It was all very nice.


My poor baby needs a haircut, but I don't even know where to begin. She has such crazy hair.

Survivor commentary: Yuck. That is all I have to say. Yuck to Parvati, yuck to Amanda, yuck to Jeff's stupid inane questions at the reunion show. Yuck to Joel the supreme jerk, yuck to Jonathon and Yau Man getting no screen time even though their awesomeness factors are off the charts, yuck to Erik's stupid "I didn't win because I'm too good a person" speech.

I got my portfolio finished and signed off, so I'm done with that whole project. The program I'm in charge of is tomorrow, so that will be all finished. It's pretty much down to the end, and all I have left to do is grades. Yay! So excited. I want to take a vacation right when school gets out, but to where? That is the question.

So, I'm such an idiot. Two nights ago I was exhausted and I turned out the bathroom light, turned to walk out of the bathroom and get in bed... and I hit into the wall. Hard. I gave myself a big bump on my eyebrow and a bit of a black eye. Luckily the bruising is in the crease area of the eyelid, so it's not too noticeable. I just look like I put on some purple eyeshadow like a 5 year old playing in mom's makeup probably. Or a hooker. My family hasn't even said anything, but my students asked me about it today. I told them that the story was too stupid to tell, so they needed to help me make up a good one. So they came up with something about a bank robbery, I was pistol whipped in the eye, but I got the robber with my master karate moves. Then they paused to imagine me doing karate moves and laughed at me. Nice.

Messy Marvins

So our toys were exploding out of control all over the house. Josh would carry stuff upstairs and down, and then when the older girls would pick up they would just throw toys in whatever bins and containers were handy. So last Sunday Sean and I finally went through everything and organized it all. So far we've gone 3 days with it all still cleaned up. Woohoo! Here's how it looked when we pulled it all out and were sorting it. Notice who is right in the middle of it all.




Josh went on his field trip today to Tasty's donuts. He was very excited. This year they were supposed to get to "help" make the donuts, so we'll see how that went. Hopefully they didn't get rained on, because they walked over.

I stayed home with Lexi today because she's sick. I swear, we can't keep everyone healthy and well around here for more than a day. It's not even that the bugs pass through the whole family... it's different bugs. One person gets something, then a week later someone else has it... no one else gets it, but then a week later someone different has something else entirely. So frustrating. But it's been nice being home. Brittney is off-track, so she's hanging out with me, and she's fun to hang out with.



So Sean and I were talking about our intense and burning hatred for grocery shopping. Not just the actual shopping, because that's bad enough, but the planning meals and list-making that you have to do first. It just seems to drag on forever, and I've stopped shopping the ads and price-matching because I just couldn't stand to take the time. So we decided that we are going to try shopping for an entire month at a time. I made a menu for a month, made a big list, and went to Sam's Club and Smith's. I'm not sure I bought enough stuff... we may run out, but that's OK. It's an experiment, and we'll adjust for the next time around. If it works, it will save time and probably money. We'll still have to run in for things like produce and milk every week, but that's super easy compared to buying *everyhing. We'll see.

It really is time for spring to come to Utah once and for all. Josh went out to play this morning, then came back in and put on a knit hat, red mittens, and a purple scarf. Lovely fashion sense that one has. And just for the record, he took the red hat off because he couldn't put his helmet on with it, and he does wear a helmet when he rides that thing.




You'll notice in one of the pictures that there is clearly a newspaper in the driveway. I'd like to enter that into evidence as Exhibit A. When I went back out to get it, no paper to be seen. My neighbor's little 3ish yo boy steals it. Grrrrr.... And she can't figure out that a)it's not hers so b)she should bring it back and figure out whose it is. He does this regularly between my house and another neighbor's, along with taking toys out of our garage, leaving things in our yard, taking stuff out of our mailboxes, and starting some car that was at her house that someone left the keys in.

Josh had fun at his birthday party today. It was for Josh's best friend at daycare. They've been there together for 4 years now... since they were both just Lexi's age. And the mom is my good friend too. It was an Army themed party, and some of the kids got their faces painted with camo. I asked Josh why he didn't, and he was like... Because then I'd have to wash my face later. That's my boy. Always thinking ahead. Heaven forbid he has to wash his face more than absolutely necessary, right?

We took a nice drive afterward, went up past the cabin, up to the lake, up past some of our favorite camping spots, got all excited for a camping trip.

I'm trying to decide what I want for Mother's Day. Narrowing down the possibilities. I wanted this really great tube they have at Sam's Club for pulling behind the boat, but Sean suggested a porch swing for the backyard. The tube would be fun, but I'll probably be doing a lot more sitting on my fat butt this summer than flying across a lake on a tube, so... I want to go get the boat and go out on it because it reminds me of my dad, but yet I don't want to because it reminds me of my dad. Weird. One thing I want is a new Nalgene water bottle because mine is one of the ones with the chemical in it that is supposed to possibly be going to kill me or maim me in some way... it's really cute, pink with a hibiscus on it. Dang. Have you noticed how everything is so dangerous? Like you just can't do *anything or eat anything without it being dangerous, toxic, fattening, unhealthy, whatever. It's crazy, people!

Survior commentary (Heather don't read this until you've watched it!)
OK, so first, NOOOOOOOO!!!! Not my lovely TV boyfriend James! Luckily he'll be on the jury so that we can still look at him every week, because dang. He brings the hot. But, that Tribal Council was, like, awesome. One of my top 5 ev.er. Made me not dislike Amanda quite so much. I think I'm now rooting for Cirie for the win. She's the only one that's really been playing this game, except for Parvati, who is also playing an awesome game, but I hate her with the fire of a thousand burning suns so I can't root for her.

Tired

I have got to figure out what to do with this little baby of mine. Our 2am hang-out sessions just are not working for me anymore. I've got to get her sleeping better, and get her drinking from a sippy cup, but she has her own ideas, and her high-pitched squeal and her little 4-toothed baby smile are pretty persuasive.

So somehow I volunteered to be in charge of this big thing at school, and oddly enough everyone didn't jump for the chance to get involved and do their part... so I'm a little stressed about that. It's in 2 weeks and I need to get the invitations out, like, yesterday. So I've got them printed, but I need to use a paper cutter because I cut like a kindergartner with scissors, so hopefully tomorrow I can be done with the invitations. I guess the upside is that if I do a crappy job, I won't have to do it again next year. :P

So Sean took Josh up to Grandpa Chamberlain's Saturday to play lumberjack while I did soccer and stuff around here, and then all us girls headed to the mall. Lexi is a champion shopper. She just sat in her stroller and looked around, not even making a peep. Just totally happy. It was fun. Court and Britt are fun to shop with too, although I was a little fearful for my life at one point, because we're standing in the middle of the mall and Court starts flashing gang signs. I'm like... um... why are you flashing gang signs? She's all... Oh that really is a gang sign? Yes dear. And those 5 guys that just walked by? Were gangsters. Maybe not gangsters, but... affiliated. Hopefully they were north side because I think that's what you were throwing. @@ So most of the stores that the girls shop in, I think the stuff is cute for them, but it doesn't really appeal to me... like I don't wish I was young enough to wear it or anything. Although, I might actually like the stuff at Hollister if I could actually see anything. I guess they can't afford to pay their power bill or something because you need to take a flashlight when you shop there. (And I am now officially old.) But the one store that makes me wish I were a teenager again is PacSun. All that beach and skate stuff is just so fun to me, I don't know why.

Josh got invited to his first "real" birthday party next weekend. So that's cute. It's kinda scary, though, that he's getting to that age. I don't know what I'm going to do about food now when he goes to parties and stuff. Stick a pb&j in his pocket? Send some cookies with him to eat at cake and ice cream time? Ugh. I'm just grateful that he's so good about not eating things that he's not supposed to, but there's going to come a time when he'll be offered something that he can eat at home, but someone else's version won't be OK, yk? At least, that's my fear.

Well, I hear some ice cream calling my name. I think I'll stick a banana in it, because that will neutralize all the calories and make it healthy.

Weekend

I thought I'd do a weekend update while I'm waiting for my laundry. So let's see...

Friday, I got my test results back for the thing I had to take for my relicensure, and I passed, so that's one more thing to check off the list. Courtney and some friends were messing around Friday night, and she fell really hard on asphalt and messed up her knee and scraped her side up pretty good. She was at her friend Skylar's house, and luckily his dad fixed her up pretty good. I told her to tell everyone she was in a motorcycle accident. It sounds more interesting than "I was running and tripped in a pothole."

Saturday, I finally decided on an elliptical machine and bought it. I'm hoping it will help me get in better shape. We were writing poems in 2nd period today, and I wrote this one for my class while they were writing theirs. It's silly and lame, but hey, what can you expect when it took 30 seconds. Langston Hughes took 2 years to finish "Weary Blues".
::: ahem:::

Fat
sleep-deprived
baby-snotted shirt
hand the three-month old
off to her daddy
drag into work
"When is your baby due?"
Can I go home now.

We were writing about an incident that we remember strongly because it made us feel bad. That was mine when I went back to work after having Brittney 12 years ago, and I still remember. And it's relevant since right now I'm looking about 4 mos pregnant and worried someone's going to ask me when my baby is due.

So back to Saturday... Courtney had a bunch of friends over that night until, I don't know, almost 1am. Sean and I watched Juno, which, LOVE! Oh my gosh. What a great movie. I'm so in love with Ellen Page's performance, but Michael Cera was great as well, and I love the actress that played her step-mom, she is so fabulous. And, of course, Rainn Wilson. "That ain't no Etch-A-Sketch. This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet."

Sunday... not much going on. We went for a nice drive and had a relaxing day.

Monday, had a doctor's appt up at the UofU medical center. Last time I was up there I was visiting my dad, so of course that was difficult going back up there. My blood pressure was high, and I know that's why. I get in the elevator and I'm just bawling and some lady in there was trying to figure out if she should stay in the elevator with the crazy lady probably. Oh well. I made it through. The last time I went up there I was telling my dad that being on campus made me want to go back to school and take some classes and he said, "Me too."

So that pretty well catches me up, and my laundry is done! I'm off to bed.