Spring!

It's been good driving weather the last little while. Last weekend Sean and I went for a little drive up around Rockport, and we stopped in at the Spring Chicken Inn for the Big D special. The Big Salad and fries. It was pretty dang tasty. This weekend we went up to check out the cabin and see how much work there is to be done this spring. Doesn't look too bad. We made it through March! The end is in sight. I never got around to having a March party this year. Maybe an April party instead.

I'm so excited. We're starting the Rasmussen Family Monthly Family Night, starting this month. Yay! I've been wanting to do this for a while now. Should be fun.

Brittney registered for next year. She's taking French class so that when we go on the Amazing Race she'll know some French and I'll know some Spanish. We are gonna kill it! I'm extremely navigation-challenged though, so hopefully Brittney can take charge of that part.

Went to the Democratic caucus meeting last week. The one benefit to being a Democrat in Utah is that if you are interested in getting involved, there is plenty of room for you. So I am, once again, my precinct chair, county delegate, and state delegate. It was pretty tough getting appointed to all of those positions, seeing as how I appointed myself. I wasn't sure I was qualified, but in the end I gave me the benefit of the doubt. We actually have two candidates running in our House District, so that's pretty high excitement.

We worked in the yard today. It was so nice! Sean did most of the work, but I planted some red potatoes and onions. It's an experiment. And another primrose. I planted pansies last week so I could have some color in my yard. Love the pansies and primrose in the spring.

March goals: I pretty much sucked. I'd say I did around 50% overall on all of it. I did try to be a little more social, I did something for people outside my family twice out of the four weeks, I ate more treats than necessary, drank more Pepsi than necessary, and not even sure what the other goals were, if any, so that doesn't bode well.

April goals:
Less treats
Limit Pepsi
Work on extended family relationships
Be more consistent with homework/bed time/reading to kids at night

That should do it.

Family Fun & Other Ramblings

It's been so much fun having Heather here! So sad you had to go home!

Two weeks ago, we all went to Brigham City and stayed overnight just for fun. It was a blast! I loved it. Poor Heather had a crying baby all night, but it was fun to let the kids swim together and just sit and talk that night and the next morning. I love getting out of town, even if it's only a little ways away. I'd love to be able to do that once a month... just take a little road trip somewhere and then stay overnight.

Courtney has my pics of Brigham City and still hasn't uploaded them, and I'm waiting for Heather and/or Wendy to put up pics on their blogs that I can steal. I am terrible about taking pictures.

It's been two years since my dad's death. It still doesn't seem real sometimes. I still think of things that I need to call and tell him or ask him about, and that realization when I remember is yuck. Sean's starting to work on the boat and we're starting to think about getting out on the lake, and I'm so glad that I have those memories and the physical reminder of the boat. It makes me feel close to him.

I was listening to Kenny Chesney's "I Go Back" the other day, and the line "Living life with no sense of time" struck me. I was thinking about being a kid, back when summers felt so long. The month of December stretched an eternity, waiting for Christmas to finally come. The years lasted so long in between birthdays, and you couldn't wait to get older. And then I was thinking that, really, I feel like I've lived my life with no sense of time until just last summer. Last summer I had a whole disturbing shift in perspective, and I haven't quite been able to recover. To set things back to how they used to be. I used to really just enjoy every stage of my kids' lives. I loved having little babies, and then I loved seeing them learn to walk, and then to talk, and then it was fun to see them learn to play and use their imaginations, and then to go off to kindergarten and ride a bike and play soccer, and then to play an instrument or learn karate or start junior high or run track or... I loved each new thing and didn't mourn the phases that had passed. But then last summer, the train went off the tracks. I was totally derailed by the thought of Courntey graduating high school and Josh starting kindergarten. And now... It's like, I can't see things through my old perspective. I can't find the joy. It's been replaced by a constant low-grade fear that underlies everything. It's not that I'm totally unhappy... just scared for what's to come. What if my kids grow up and leave me and life is no fun anymore. That fear paralyzes me for some reason now. I'm hoping that once Courtney graduates and the world doesn't end, I'll be OK. Also, I feel like I'm setting myself up in my head that this summer has to be epic, and if it's not I'm going to be so upset, because there's so little time and you have to pack it all in and have The Most Fun Ever. I've got to get my mind straight and just come what may.

I love my job. I do. Kids are so freaking funny. I got to go up to Weber State for English Quest again this year. I'm always so impressed by what kids are capable of. This is an optional activity, not an assignment, so it's double cool to see them write poetry and create videos and perform Shakespeare scenes and compete in spelling bees just for the fun of it. I was gone a day for that, and then took the next 2 days off because Lexi was sick, and when I came back my kids were like, "Where were you?? Don't leave us again!!" Which is so funny, because when I'm there they are wishing I'd leave. :) One of my boys said, "You can't be gone anymore. I had a hard time without you." And another told me he wrote a poem in his English journal about me being gone. So goofy! These are teenage boys. They are not serious. But it's nice to hear anyway, especially since they are always complaining about everything I make them do when I am there.

I love being on a college campus. It makes me want to be a student all over again. How fun. Maybe in about 5 years I'll be ready...

One more day, and then the weekend! Life is good.

Embracing the Frumpiness

Oops... I missed a goal in my reporting on last month. It was the one on being quieter. Yah, we probably did about 10% on that one. We are just loud people, and I don't know how to change that. Not sure if I want to even, anymore. Hmmmm....

Heather is in town! Yay! Can't wait to party it up. Pictures forthcoming.

Got my hair cut and colored the other day. Not sure I like how it turned out. I'm OK with the individual parts, but not sure how I feel about the sum total. I'm not sure the color goes with my skin coloring, which, if you don't know, is baby's butt pink. I have vitiligo, so I don't have pigment in most of my skin. Anywayyyyyzzzz, this brings me to another, more interesting (to me) point. I often berate myself because I don't work harder on my appearance. I want to be cuter. I want to be higher-maintenance. So why don't I? I always write it off as a lack of time and money, which is surely a factor. But I think another big part of it is that I don't think it will really help. I spent $85 on a cut and color that I don't really love. I realize this isn't actually expensive... it's pretty average. But it's a lot for me. Even if I shopped for more stylish clothes, I would have a hard time finding anything that fits the way I like. Even when I get my hair done, I don't think it looks great. Make-up... doesn't ever seem to help, in large part because of the aforementioned pigment problem. Lipstick, and most everything else, looks stupid on me. It would be fun to have nails, but not like that's going to turn me from frump to diva. So I think that's why I just really don't try.

Been watching American Idol. Brittney told me yesterday that one of her friends was like... There's 2 hours of AI on Tuesday, and 2 hours on Wednesday, another hour on Thursday... watching American Idol is like having a part-time job! LOL And true.

Today on the way home from school, Lexi was giving me the report on what she thought everyone was doing. Josh, she informed me, was "at the doctor really bad." Apparently, he swallowed Jello. Since I mostly hate Jello, makes sense to me. And Courtney was at the mall, dancing. Lexi wanted us to go to the mall and check on her.

And speaking of checking on her... guess I better go do that. She and her boyfriend are making dinner, and it sounds like it's heading towards a food fight. Off to save my kitchen and my dinner...

What? The Hail?

Driving home today, we suddenly went through a little downpour of hail. Lexi said, "What is that noise?" and I said that it was just the hail. She said, "What? The hail?" Ha sounded funny.

I'm on the food committee for the senior all-night party at Courtney's school, and the chair called a meeting for tonight. I could hardly tell her, "Well, that's Survivor time right there, so count me out." Darned responsibilities. Always getting in the way of my laying on the couch time. So now Sean has to consult NASA guide books and get an electrical engineering degree from Harvard so he can figure out how to program the VCR to go through the converter box to record Survivor for me. But bless his little heart, he's working on it for me because that's how much he loves me and how much I love Survivor. Mark Burnett owns me.

So, goals:
I made pretty good progress, I think. On the Diet Pepsi, I did about 75%. On the treats, about 90%. Family council, 75%. Doing more things for myself, 100%.

March goals:
Limit Diet Pepsi to 2 cans/day.
No treats until dessert.
Family council twice a month.
Do something for someone outside my family once a week.
Talk to someone every day that I don't normally talk to. I've gotten into a really bad habit of just putting my head down and living in my own little world because it's easier and less complicated, so I wanted to be a little more social.

I considered a goal to eat the same diet that Josh eats for a month, but I don't have nearly enough will power. It would be a good exercise, though, and I could probably lose 15 lbs in a month.

February Latest, Goal Progress, & Things That Must Go

February has been a great month, all things considered. I think this is the most depressing time of the year, but it hasn't been too bad. A few highlights:

Mindi, Steve, the kiddos, Marilyn, Dennis, and Curtis (Courtney's boyfriend) came over and watched the Super Bowl with us. Our team lost and we didn't win any money, but the company was excellent.

One of my February goals was to do a few things for myself that I like to do, and I've done that. Yay! I suck at New Year's Resolutions and goals in general, but these small little monthly goals are proving much more manageable for me. I went to a meet-and-greet for SLC Mayor Peter Corroon, who is running for governor this year. I like the guy. He's not in-line with all of my issues, but he's much better than Gov. Herbert imo. The meeting was interesting because it was attended by the movers in the party and not so many of the average peons like me, it seemed like. Very intimidating and uncomfortable, but that's a goal for another month. I just would really like to be more comfortable in my own skin.

Next thing I did was go to a rally at the state Capitol for public employees. The speeches were very good, and it motivated me to want to be more involved. I liked being a party delegate and attending the county and state conventions, and I want to do that again. Mostly all I do now is get all worked up about stuff and write imaginary letters to the editor in my head but never do anything else.

Last thing I (we) did was go to the Queensryche concert in Wendover, which was a blast. Marilyn watched our kids, so we stayed overnight this time, which was holy cow so nice. The great thing about Wendover is that it's close to home, but it feels like a getaway. So the concert was fun; they played my 4 favorite songs that they sing. Next up, Vince Neil in April. Can't wait. Motley Crue sings my all-time favorite rock ballad (Home Sweet Home), so I'm hoping he'll do that one. Hopefully he has rights to all the Crue music, because I don't know any of his solo stuff.

This season of Survivor has started out so much better than any in recent memory. Last season in particular sucked rocks. The challenges were stupid, the people were stupid, Probst's heart was not in it. This season could shape up to be a really good one with lots of strategy. I hope Russell gets voted out next, followed by Parvati. So much Boston Rob love. They could just give it to him now. He is really in his element in Survivor. He's competent, social, reads people well, and can perform at both physical and mental challenges.

Yesterday was Courtney's region Sterling Scholar interview. She's glad to have it all over with. Region debate tournament is in a week and a half. One of her favorite residents at work passed away unexpectedly last weekend. She was moving, so Courtney had said goodbye to her the night before, so she did have some closure, but I think that was hard.

Brittney's first trial for mock trial is coming up on Monday at the Ogden court house. She's a witness. I hope she has fun with it.



Josh was so excited today when I went to pick him up at lunch to take him to kindergarten. He told me that he and his friend Taya exchanged phone numbers, and asked if he could call her, and told me all about how she would call him. When we got home he informed everyone to make sure if the phone was for him that we let him have it. He and Taya have known each other since they were both about 9 months old. He thinks it's so funny when I tell him how they used to sit side by side in the high chairs or how they played together as babies. I wish they went to school together. She is a cute little friend to him.

We did Things That Must Go in class today. Here is my list this time around:
1. spitting in public
2. nose picking
3. people who don't wash their hands before they leave the bathroom
4. facebook updates about farmville or mafia wars or people's horoscope or suggestions
5. status updates that are annoying and lovey-dovey statuses (ahem: Courtney and Curtis... looking at you two)
6. axed (as in: I axed my mom if I could go)
7. being called Sharon or Shanna or Shauna
8. partisan politics
9. blaming Obama for all the things that were already wrong when he took office
10. jewelry store commercials (they're the WORST!)
11. people who sit at concerts and don't dance or cheer or show any signs of life. When you scream and dance and do "rock on", you worry that you might be disturbing their nap time or meditation or prayers or something.
12. people who make a driving error and then act like you're the idiot

Happy weekend. Over and out.

Love

I've been thinking about my statement the other day that I'm a "love conquers all" sort of person, and I wanted to clarify something for my own self. I was serious when I said that it's somewhat unrealistic. I do realize that love cannot conquer all, and that just because it has in the past doesn't mean it always will. I felt like what I had written came off sounding smug and that was not my intention. Anyway... Speaking of love:

Ummm.... what??

We were having a discussion on civil disobedience in class, and one of my students said, "Who was that lady that refused to sit at the back of the bus? Aretha Franklin?" Ummmm... not quite. Try again sweetie.

Lexi has this Barney DVD that she loves (grrr...) and I was doing stuff today, not really paying attention to the Barney background noise underneath my thoughts. Then this song came on singing about balls, and it's fun to play with balls, big ones, small ones, and I had to stop and go... wait... what?? I fully admit that I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old boy, but really. Somebody really could have come up with some better lyrics to that song.