Lexi's Birthday

Lexi's 8th birthday:

She's a sweet girl! Can't believe she's 8 years old.

Song Of the Day

My blog needs a little of this today. My life needs a little Church today. The first time I saw the title to this song I thought, "Really? What's this mess going to be like?" And then I listened to it once and fell in love. In fact, I've probably posted it on my blog before at some point. Don't care. 

T1

I hate diabetes. So sick of it. It hits me at the usual times, like when I'm changing out her pump site or reminding her to check her blood or realizing we left her meter sitting at home on the counter or realizing that we are almost out of one supply or another. Those times usually just feel like irritation and tiredness. But it also sneaks up on me at times, catching me totally unaware, and those are the gut punches. Those are the ones where my heart skips a beat and I tear up.

Like when I went to put some syringes in the sharps container yesterday and offhandedly peeked in to see how close to being full it was. It hit me so hard to see all those lancets and cartridge needles and syringes that represent so many thousands of finger pricks and infusion sites. So many pokes to those sweet little fingers and arms and butt cheeks.

Or a few weeks ago when her teacher e-mailed me in the evening to find out how Lexi was feeling because her blood sugar had spiked really high at school, causing her to get really pale and lethargic and start throwing up. It wouldn't come down, so Brittney went and picked her up for me, and when I got home I discovered that her infusion cannula was totally bent, so she hadn't had any insulin since about 5:30 am. In that e-mail, her teacher told me that on the kids' birthdays, she interviews them, and one of the questions she asks is, "What's something you don't like?" She said most kids answer "chores" or "cleaning my room" or a yucky food, but Lexi's answer was "diabetes". Her teacher said it made her sad. Gut punch. Made me cry to read that.

And then a week or so ago, I read in the newspaper that a boy with T1 diabetes went to basketball sleep-away camp at a college in Salt Lake, and he died because he went into ketoacidosis and wasn't treated soon enough. He got feeling crappy and started throwing up, got lethargic... same thing that happened to Lexi at school a few weeks ago. Thankfully, her teacher and school are aware and observant and caring, and Lexi is a good advocate for herself, but still... it's that gut punch of... that could be my kid! My kid was in that same condition a few weeks ago... the only difference is that we worked to correct it once we figured it out and got her down and got the ketones cleared out so that she didn't go into ketoacidosis, but what if?

Then there are those random times when I'm rubbing her back and feel the pump tubing under her shirt, or I'm walking behind her and notice the pump tubing hanging out of the back of the waistband of her shorts, and I think, "That tube is keeping her alive. Without the insulin going through that tube, she dies." Freaks me out for just a second, and then I'm fine, because that's what you do. But there's that little split second where I feel my stomach lurch and my heart skip a beat.

Or when I notice bruises on her fingers where she's tested too much in the same spot. Or when she tells me that the girls in her tumbling class keep asking her what her pump infusion site is and she hates it and doesn't want to talk about it or explain what it is, so she just tries to brush it off, but they won't stop asking.

But, then, it could be so, so much worse. I'm grateful it's just T1 diabetes.

Christianity

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."  --Anne Lamott

I've written on this topic a little bit before. I really am not sure that I'm a Christian. I haven't studied Christ's teachings much lately. Maybe not ever? Even in seminary when we studied the Bible, I'm not sure that we really studied Christ's teachings. Memorized verses, sure.  But I feel like if you say you are a Christian, meaning a follower of Jesus Christ, then you should actually, you know, follow His teachings. Study them and apply them to daily situations and how to address aspects of life big and small. And I feel like there is very little of that going on. I feel like there is a lot of taking tiny passages out of the Bible, usually out of context, and focusing on those few things, while ignoring everything else. There is definitely room for interpretation, yes. As with most literature, individuals will see different things as they read. And no one is perfect, heaven knows. But I really feel like a lot of Christians shape the Bible to fit what they believe, rather than basing their beliefs off of what the Bible says. 

I was searching for the exact wording of that Anne Lamott quote when I stumbled on an interesting Huffington Post article.  Neal Wooten writes, "Always beware when someone tells you what scripture doesn't mean. That quite often means they don't like what it does mean. Again, it's not easy to follow the rules. If a person wants to be seen as a Christian, however, there are two ways to handle these directives. One way is to truly strive to adhere to them and ask forgiveness for coming up short, or the most frequently used practice: simply find means to get around them."

So let's talk specifics. The parable of the Good Samaritan. I remember from my childhood the take-away from this parable being a generic kind of "be nice to others." But in revisiting it as an adult, I think it's much more than that. It teaches us how we are to treat our neighbors, and neighbors is very clearly not defined as "people like us" or "people we like" in this parable. And Jesus ends by saying that we should go out and be like the Samaritan, meaning that we have a mandate to help everyone, not just those we feel like helping or those whom it's convenient to help.  Or there's the scripture where Jesus says that the righteous have fed him when he was hungry and clothed him and helped him when he was sick, and they said when the heck did we do that, and he said that anytime they've helped those in need, it's like they were helping Christ himself.  So I think, how are we supposed to apply this to life? Does it just mean to do voluntary service for those we like/deem worthy? Or in order to be true Christians, don't we have to take care of the poor, even the ones we're not sure are worthy of our help?  

Martin Luther King, Jr wrote, speaking of this parable, "On the one hand we are called to play the good Samaritan on life's roadside; but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar; it is not haphazard and superficial. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring."

Maybe I don't agree with that.  That's totally fine. But I should have the integrity to really look at whether that's because of a legitimate difference of opinion, after study, about the meaning of the parable. Or whether it's because I really don't like Christ's teachings and don't want to follow them, and therefore am not a Christian. And that's kinda what I've been doing, although not really with any sort of real intensity of study at this point. Just sort of a wandering around the periphary of the topic. One thing I do know, if the so-called Religous Right are truly followers of Christ's teachings, I truly and surely am not one. 

Memorial Day Weekend

All my wildest dreams have come true... again!! So we went to Eric Church Part 2 on Monday night. It was the free make up show for the concert back in January where his band and crew was all sick. So awesome to get to see him twice in 4 months. And only had to pay for it once. January was a once-in-a-lifetime show, and I loved it. But I loved this one even more. Favorite concert ever. The only problem... the concert I've wanted to see for the last two years, that I've been looking forward to for so long... is over now. I'm bummed. What now? Sigh.

This video was obviously not taken by me (I wish I was this close), and it is just short, but I chose it because you can see him pointing to me up in the stands. All of the pointing was at me. Eric just loves me. And you can see how hot he is. And it just reminds me of how much fun it was.

Before that, though, we spent the rest of the weekend camping at Bear Lake. It rained a good lot of the time, but it was still pretty fun. The bad thing, though, is that we didn't spend any time sitting out under the awning. In fact, we hardly even had the awning rolled out because of the wind. So, I totally forgot to take a picture from under my awning. Which sucks, because we had such a pretty view of the lake. Whenever it wasn't raining, we were out walking around and playing, so I just forgot. I pretty much forgot to take any pictures at all. Sigh.

It was definitely not a relaxing weekend, but it was a good one.

The Latest Random Stuff

Lexi's new glasses

A few Sundays ago, we hiked Adams Canyon to the waterfall.  That was an accomplishment for a group of out-of-shape people like us.

I'm currently reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. I like it so far, but I'm not sure I understand all of it. But it's interesting enough to keep me reading.

I'm looking for a Pontiac Firebird.  I want something around a 1976 or 1978 with T-tops, the firebird on the hood, and the blower.  It's a lot harder to find than I realized it would be, unless I want to drop a pretty big wad of cash, which I obviously don't.  It doesn't have to be in great condition; in fact, some rough spots just add character. I don't want to restore it... I just want to drive it around. But they're old enough now that they're expensive. You can pick up a 1990s Firebird for way cheaper than a 1970s. Which makes sense. We'll see. It would be fun.

Courtney chose Kenny Chesney for her birthday concert this year. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm a little too anxious for summer to come. Not even so much the season, since we never even really had winter this year; I just am ready for a break from teaching. It's that time of year when we all sit around at lunch wondering if a career change is in order. That's normal for teachers this time of year; the problem is that I've been feeling that way all year. I hope next year is better.

I'm trying to lose 20 lbs by my birthday. Sean is doing the same. So far, he's doing much better at it than I am. I need to be healthier, I need to be able to wear shorts when hiking without my thighs being so fat, I need to  not feel like a stuffed sausage in my swimsuit, and I need to be able to hike with my grandkids (or my grand dogs and grand cats, whichever), and I need to have an easier time finding clothes that I like.  Twenty pounds won't do all of that, but it's a start. Sigh.

In January Sean and I decided to start particpating in Bountiful Baskets produce co-op. It's really funny... it's so exciting to see what you're going to get every week, even though it's produce. Everyone gets all excited when they spy orange bell peppers or tangerines or something. It's funny, but good.

Spring Break

For Spring Break this year, we took a camping trip to Sand Hollow to go hiking around that area, and to go fishing and swimming. The weather was so warm. It usually hit about 88 degrees the first few days. A storm blew in and we got a lot of wind on the third day. We woke up to crazy wind that night, shaking the trailer. It's so beautiful down there. My mom used to always say how beautiful the desert is, and I thought she was crazy. I thought it was so ugly.  But now I understand. I love it so much.

Time for camping again means time for... drumroll... The View From Under My Awning.

We went hiking in Snow Canyon, Red Cliffs Recreation Area, and Dixie National forest.  We swam at Sand Hollow, and went fishing at Sand Hollow and Quail Creek (there are no fish in Sand Hollow or Quail Creek, just for the record). Lexi has a fixation on pioneers, so we visited Jacob Hamblin's winter home and Brigham Young's.